undisciplined up to the core..

I am undisciplined up to the core..
The wildness n willful unruliness seems to be output of my anger of not achieving anything….
Why I can’t manage my self, why I have to depend upon others to make me remember of my time/ work schedule n liabilities n …..
Why I reach each n every class late, why I allow myself to indulge in activities which I hate to do, most of all, why I don’t want to achieve anything….
Most of the goals doesn’t seems me worthy of my attention..
Though I know that they may play an important role in my coming life….

I want a passionate and engaging life, a life in which many things are packed and many achievements crammed in each and every day which comes as a gift after a sleep….

Thinking of running until I fall by tiredness/ breathlessness, it is nothing but just my outburst of anger of not achieving anything worthwhile..
At least in last rounds before I stop I feel that each n every breath is achievements...
Each n every step is triumph….

Today, the day of Guru ( Guruwar ), September 08, 2005,. I decides to live like a monk..
Live austere life; abstain from luxury of materialistic life, reach to the acme of abstemious and disciplined life….